Za dobre nasvete in terapijo s področja spolnosti skrbi priznana izkušena seksologinja in psihoterapevtka Vesna Jarc. Naročite se na posvet že danes...
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Boundaries 2 – Why is Keeping Your Boundaries Essential in Relationship?

Boundaries 2 – Why is Keeping Your Boundaries Essential in Relationship?

nedelja, 18. oktober 2015/Kategorije: Odprto razmerje/Število ogledov (11751)

Keeping your boundaries is essential to the intimacy and longevity of a relationship. Knowing and sharing your boundaries with your partner creates a situation where your partner can trust you. They can trust that you will take good care of yourself so that you can stay in the relationship happily and that you will not build resentment or shut down. When you allow your boundaries to be crossed in a relationship, and especially when you do it over and over again, you begin to build resentment and distance from those to whom you want to be closest. Resentment is the number one killer of relationships. If you allow it to build for too long, you shut down to all of the love, connection, pleasure and positive resources that a healthy relationship can provide. Let’s take the example in the earlier post on boundaries where a person (let’s call him Allen) has sex with his partner when he is exhausted and doesn’t want to – making him tired and ineffective at work. He rarely tells his partner that he doesn’t want to and always gives in if she pushes a little or complains. Allen does this over and over again for years, getting angrier and more shut down until he is avoiding any kind of physical intimacy with his partner at all. She feels sad, thinking he is no longer attracted to her. One day he explodes, saying he can’t take his wife’s demands anymore. She is shocked, having had no idea that he was so fed up. These kinds of dynamics happen all the time in relationship and, often the partner is blamed for crossing boundaries – told that they should have known or been able to tell – instead of each person in the relationship being committed to their own well-being.



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Izjave

  • JANA Vesna je čudovita psihoterapevtka. Ogromno strokovnega znanja, predvsem pa njena toplina, potrpežljivost, pozitivnost in usmerjenost v prihodnost so njenje lastnosti, ki mi pomagajo, da lažje premagujem svoje strahove in rastem. Res sem ji hvaležna za vsak njen nasvet, vzpodbudo ali pa samo 'Vse bo vredu'.
  • MAJA Počutim se kot, da hodim po oblakih. Kot, da sem izdihnila dolg in globok vdih in z njim odplavila vsa leta blokad in frustracij okoli moje seksualnosti. Sedaj se spet spomnim kako je, ko se počutiš živo in kar ne morem dočakati, da se spet začnem spogledovati s celim svetom, ki čaka name, kot si mi rekla.
  • JERNEJ Veliko let se je obrnilo, Vesna, tebe bi morali klicato vratar, ker vsakič, ko sem potreboval nekaj za kar sem mislil, da ne bom nikoli dobil, si mi odprla vrata. Sedaj lahko vidim svet poln odprtih vrat, namesto zaprtih. Hvala ti.
  • ALENKA Varen prostor, ki si ga ustvarila mi je pomagal, da sem prišla v stik s tistim delom sebe, ki sem si ga do sedaj neskončno bala raziskati.
  • ANDREJ Težko opišem z besedami kakšno zadovoljstvo sem občutil, ko je moji partnerki prišlo dvakrat prej kot meni in da sem se lahko ljubil z njo celih 40 minut, kar prej sploh ni bilo možno ker nisem nikakor zmogel kontrolirati izliva.

Več izjav

Seksualnost je kot prelepa rastlina z občudovanja vrednimi cvetovi. Če imamo radi to rastlino in jo negujemo in ji dajemo dovolj hrane, vode in sonca, potem uspeva in požene mnogo razkošnih cvetov. Če pa zanjo ne skrbimo. Se posuši...Izvedite več