Za dobre nasvete in terapijo s področja spolnosti skrbi priznana izkušena seksologinja in psihoterapevtka Vesna Jarc. Naročite se na posvet že danes...
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If They Loved Me, They Would Know What I Want

If They Loved Me, They Would Know What I Want

nedelja, 18. oktober 2015/Kategorije: Pari, Kako se izogniti varanja/Število ogledov (4138)

Even if you are dating a professional psychic, they will not be able to predict all of your sexual and emotional needs, especially as they shift and change over time. The idea that “If they loved me, they would know what I want” is one of the most harmful romantic myths actively circulating. It is fed by the unfounded belief that, if you have truly found “the one,” they will know exactly what you want all the time without your having to tell them is one of the most toxic ideas we hold on to.

While we discussed this damaging myth in an earlier post on teaching people how to love you, we believe it bears repeating here. As we said, your needs are different than your partners and they change throughout your life. You might think it is a good idea to show your sweetheart you love them by offering what to you feels like love instead of by asking what they want. You might also wait around patiently, then impatiently, then angrily and resentfully, wishing your partner would give you what you want without your having to ask.

No in-depth dating profile or matching algorithm can take the place of actually telling your partner what turns you on and makes you feel loved. At the beginning of a relationship many people are actively looking for the good in their partner which helps them feel like all of the pieces are miraculously falling into place, and their desires are being met, with ease and minimal processing. Even if you feel you have found your soulmate, they do not possess a crystal (or Magic 8) ball that can give them all of the answers.

To receive the kind of love you want and to give your partner the kind of love they want, you must kindly teach your partner how to love you and learn how to love them. While there are many wonderful people out there with whom you can have a great relationship, not one of them will know what you need all the time, or even enough of the time, without you having to communicate. Our clients are often surprised that these conversations can end up being sexy and exciting and can quickly transition to mind-blowing erotic experiences. We are not saying it is easy to rid yourself of these myths, but we can not stress enough the importance of showing up to your relationship ready to teach and learn.



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  • JANA Vesna je čudovita psihoterapevtka. Ogromno strokovnega znanja, predvsem pa njena toplina, potrpežljivost, pozitivnost in usmerjenost v prihodnost so njenje lastnosti, ki mi pomagajo, da lažje premagujem svoje strahove in rastem. Res sem ji hvaležna za vsak njen nasvet, vzpodbudo ali pa samo 'Vse bo vredu'.
  • MAJA Počutim se kot, da hodim po oblakih. Kot, da sem izdihnila dolg in globok vdih in z njim odplavila vsa leta blokad in frustracij okoli moje seksualnosti. Sedaj se spet spomnim kako je, ko se počutiš živo in kar ne morem dočakati, da se spet začnem spogledovati s celim svetom, ki čaka name, kot si mi rekla.
  • JERNEJ Veliko let se je obrnilo, Vesna, tebe bi morali klicato vratar, ker vsakič, ko sem potreboval nekaj za kar sem mislil, da ne bom nikoli dobil, si mi odprla vrata. Sedaj lahko vidim svet poln odprtih vrat, namesto zaprtih. Hvala ti.
  • ALENKA Varen prostor, ki si ga ustvarila mi je pomagal, da sem prišla v stik s tistim delom sebe, ki sem si ga do sedaj neskončno bala raziskati.
  • ANDREJ Težko opišem z besedami kakšno zadovoljstvo sem občutil, ko je moji partnerki prišlo dvakrat prej kot meni in da sem se lahko ljubil z njo celih 40 minut, kar prej sploh ni bilo možno ker nisem nikakor zmogel kontrolirati izliva.

Več izjav

Seksualnost je kot prelepa rastlina z občudovanja vrednimi cvetovi. Če imamo radi to rastlino in jo negujemo in ji dajemo dovolj hrane, vode in sonca, potem uspeva in požene mnogo razkošnih cvetov. Če pa zanjo ne skrbimo. Se posuši...Izvedite več